Learning patience whether I want it or not

I have been really bad about posting but since this is mostly for me, what's it matter really?

Why is it that I don't want to blog when I'm down or afraid? That tweaking of my back in the garage wasn't bad but it was bad enough that it got worse with my next run. I haven't tried to run since. I decided I needed more stability in the disk first.

So I've been doing the inversion table twice a day and increasing the degree of inversion weekly, working out on the stationery bike three times a week and Chiwalking three times a week. I figure I should be able to walk three miles fast without twinges before I even think about trying to run. Oh, and I've been concentrating on getting my abs to work the way they were intended to rather than using my back muscles.

So I've been spending lots of time at the indoor track -- only a slight step up from the dreadmill, which I just out and out refuse to get on. I'm not fast as a runner, but boy walking three miles seems like forever.

The good news: I can tell my back is getting stronger. Plus, I'm really starting to connect with my body -- learning to truly relax everything except my core. I hadn't realized how much I was "working" at good form rather than relaxing into it.

It's all good.

More than anything else, I'm learning patience. I'm learning that it doesn't all have to come together today. That small improvements are still improvements. That small increases in distance are still increases. It's not so much about where I am today (but I am trying to be present and not think too far out) but where I'll be six months, a year, six years from now.

A little scary

On Wednesday, I got turned around in the garage and felt my back. I was afraid I had tweaked it. I waited to see if it got any worse, but it pretty much held on. I ran on Wednesday night at the indoor track and felt fine and then ran on the street (for the first time since the injury) on Friday because it was just so gorgeous out. We don't get 50s and sunny much in Feb. here. I just couldn't resist. I ran a little less than I'd planned just to be safe, but sort of felt it afterward.

This morning I woke up really tired even after 9 hours of sleep. I headed to yoga and tried a pose or two and knew it just wasn't the thing to do. So I called the chiropractor who happened to be in and got an appt.

I was sure I'd messed up the disk a bit again, but to my surprise she said it feels pretty good. She thinks I'm coming down with the flu and my back hurts from that. What a relief. Still, no running tomorrow. I'm just laying low for the next day or two. I may swim but I may not.

I had a pretty full day planned today. After the dr. appt. I had to go to my high school's athletic hall of fame induction ceremony. I'm on the selection committee. After that there was a girls' basketball game at the high school. We were supposed to head to a college game tonight, but I decided I needed to rest so we're bagging the game. Luckily the game is on TV.

My husband, the colonel, just left to pick up dinner for me. What a sweetie. That counts as my Valentine's gift, which is fine with me. Valentine's Day is for those who date or husbands who are romantic only one day a year. The colonel is very romantic. In fact, he doesn't just celebrate our wedding anniversary he celebrates wedding anniversary week.

My back is still sore and I need to take some the products the doc suggest. Hope to be back to normal in a day or two. Luckily, Monday is Presidents' Day and a day off work. So I have a few days to recovery completely.

Making progress

Ran for a second time yesterday at the local indoor track. I still get a twinge in my back about 10 minutes into the workout but then it subsides and I'm good to go. Even though I still feel rusty, I can feel my chirunning form coming back bit by bit. As long as I keep improving with each run, I'll be fine.

Part of the challenge is not being afraid of re-injuring myself. The first lap I really felt myself holding everything tightly trying not to hurt myself when ironically all that holding is exactly what could hurt me.

Since chirunning require core strength and since my core hasn't been working for some time now, I can't really get any speed going. But I'm just happy to be moving. As soon as the abs get stronger, I can start thinking about leaning a bit more and opening my stride but not until then. But that's OK, I'm still running.

My plan – for the first time in my life – is to not have a plan, but to listen to what my body tells me it’s ready to do. OK, I do have a very loose plan which is to increase only ¼ mile a week. That’s only 1 mile increase per month. That may be too conservative as time goes by but for now I think it’s the right thing. I have more of a tendency to do too much too soon than the opposite.

A new look and outlook

OK, so I just posted that I'm running again after 10 weeks off from a slightly herniated disk. Since I have to make some serious changes to my running -- at least for the time being, I decided it was time for a new look as well.

Hopefully, the new look -- and my new outlook -- will be a turning point in my running.

Finally running -- if you can call it that

Yesterday, the chiropractor gave me the go-ahead to try running -- a little. We agreed I would walk to warm up (half mile) then jog one lap and walk a lap for a mile at my local indoor track and then cool down with another half mile walk. It's not much, but it's a start.

I did pretty good. My back felt mostly good. My ChiRunning form however is a bit rusty. Still by the third lap, I started to find my groove at least a little. I am trying to go very slowly and patiently with this.


I love planning my workouts but there will be no plans. I started to create a plan but realized it's futile for now. I have to go with what my back and body tell me they are ready for not some pre-set time or distance, much less speed. Brother, this is not easy. But then again I am soooo greatful (spelling error on purpose) to be moving again.

OK, the truth is I do have a loose plan but it's still a plan or maybe a hope: Increase each of my runs by a 1/4 mile a week. So this week, I'm running a half mile total during each workout. So next week, if all goes, well, I'll do .75 miles per day. And then keep increasing each week until I hit 3 or 4 miles. Then I'll just add a mile on my long slow distance run each week and keep the other three runs at 3 or 4 miles. We'll see how it goes. I suppose having a plan is OK after all, I just have to be willing to alter it.

A far more serious goal that will help my running -- and my back -- is to lose 10 pounds maybe 15. Being sedentary for 10 weeks has taken its toll. Or maybe it's the Big "M" or pre-Big M. I am getting to that age. Either way I refuse to let myself get any bigger.

Truly the only goal I can have from now on is to run without every having another disk flareup. If I manage that, then every run is a success. We'll see how it goes.

Oh, and I'm headed to the pool this week for the first time in 10 years or so. Got the Total Immersion DVD in the mail yesterday and am ready to try a few drills.

Here's your sign

Walking -- Day 3

It's bad enough I'm not running yet, but I have to start out really slowly with the walking. I'm being passed by everyone -- really. I want to scream, "I'M REALLY NOT THIS SLOW. I AM RECOVERING FROM A HERNIATED DISK IN MY BACK. NOT ONLY CAN I WALK FASTER THAN THIS BUT I'M REALLY A RUNNER."

It's bad enough to be not running but it's even worse when I'm a Chirunning instructor and teach people how to run without pain (Doesn't matter that my back problem isn't the result of running; it still awkward).

But I guess this is the perfect time to learn a lesson I've been working on for years: Stop caring what anyone else thinks. Stop caring how fast or slow I go, how far and not far I walk and --hopefully soon -- run .

Looks like I'm going to be a slower learner on this one.

Two steps to the long road ahead

I took my first steps to running yesterday -- in a walk. I started working on my ChiWalking technique and it was slow going. My technique feels rough and sloppy, although today was better than yesterday.

I only did a mile yesterday and 1.25 miles today. I could feel my back and didn't want to overdo it. But today when I woke up, my back felt great and has felt great tonight after my walk today. Thank goodness for indoor tracks. The snow and ice from last week's storm are still a mess.

What's really sad though was I was the slowest person on the track -- slower than the old folks. But that'll have to do for now. I promised myself I'd pay attention to form and what my body is telling me rather than distance and time. Oh man this is going to be harder than I thought.

I'm hoping going slowly at first speeds up my rehab in the long run.