When I started this blog, it was kind of a combination creative outlet/journal. My schedule being what it is, I no longer have the time (or maybe energy) to even attempt to be a Half-Fast, Pieces of Me, Notes of a Non-Runner, or Miscellaneous Ramblings of a Slow Poke blogger. And that's OK. But it's time to figure out who I am as a blogger and more important who I am as a runner (although I use that term loosely).
I have lost my way in both areas but I'm much more concerned about the runner. After a long separation from running, I promised myself if I was ever able to run again, I would do it with a renewed passion and joy. And I held to that -- until I started reading blogs. I got caught up in the numbers -- mileage, times, etc. -- reading everyone else's reports. And while that may be motivational for some, it just becomes obsessive for me.
So the solution is to get back to what matters -- or should matter -- most to me. And that is simply the joy of running and feeling my body move and being grateful for the opportunity to run pain free no matter how slowly or how few miles it may be. There is a great life lesson here for me -- one that I am learning over and over again: Stop comparing myself to others and start appreciating the journey -- MY JOURNEY.
This running thing has to be about me, my experience. Not how I compare to anyone else. When will I ever get my ego to hear this message? I guess the problem is I've always been a decent athlete. I'm in my high school athletic hall of fame. I played varsity college ball. But when it comes to running -- if teams were chosen for it -- I would finally know what it's like to be the last kid picked.
I am beginning to realize I am just never going to be a great runner, maybe not even an average runner. The sooner I really accept that, the better. And not just for my running but for life in general. It's time to accept me, the good, the bad, the average and the less-than-average. This will be no easy lesson. If I haven't gotten in in the first 47 years, maybe I'll get it in the next 47. I certainly hope so.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Happy to be running
Today I wanted to try 5 min run/1 min walks to see how it felt and if it would speed me up. It didn't go so well. I was exhausted from the get-go. So 3 miles with half-mile runs at a faster pace followed by 1 min walks was harder than I expected, but I made it. It turned into an interval workout of sorts.
The good news I was running, period. There was an 8-year stretch when I couldn't run because of pain. And now I can (thanks to ChiRunning). Everything else is gravy. Plus it was it was 70 degrees and sunny. I was able to work on my form which felt pretty good, but I would have liked to have relaxed more (a big component of CR), but when you can barely breathe and your heart is racing at 175 bpm, it makes it tough to relax. Anyone know a cardiologist who specializes in heart rates that spike in the first 90 seconds of running and don't come back down (even on a slow mile)?
The other good part of today's effort -- the excellent massage I had after the run. I am going to start scheduling all my massages after a hard workout. My calves have been tight since this weekend (biking seems to have aggravated them), but the massage therapist worked good and hard on them. She thinks it might be a lot of lactic acid. So more water -- and less Diet Coke, plus ice and heat after running and we'll see how the calves react to that.
I had my third meeting with a personal trainer today. I'm on my own from here. It's been hard enough to find time for four runs a week, and now I am trying to fit in 4 30-minute weight training sessions set up by a personal trainer. We'll see.
The good news I was running, period. There was an 8-year stretch when I couldn't run because of pain. And now I can (thanks to ChiRunning). Everything else is gravy. Plus it was it was 70 degrees and sunny. I was able to work on my form which felt pretty good, but I would have liked to have relaxed more (a big component of CR), but when you can barely breathe and your heart is racing at 175 bpm, it makes it tough to relax. Anyone know a cardiologist who specializes in heart rates that spike in the first 90 seconds of running and don't come back down (even on a slow mile)?
The other good part of today's effort -- the excellent massage I had after the run. I am going to start scheduling all my massages after a hard workout. My calves have been tight since this weekend (biking seems to have aggravated them), but the massage therapist worked good and hard on them. She thinks it might be a lot of lactic acid. So more water -- and less Diet Coke, plus ice and heat after running and we'll see how the calves react to that.
I had my third meeting with a personal trainer today. I'm on my own from here. It's been hard enough to find time for four runs a week, and now I am trying to fit in 4 30-minute weight training sessions set up by a personal trainer. We'll see.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
I love spring!
What a weekend! First, a nice 7 miler yesterday and no serious tightening in the calves and hip later. So this morning I headed out for a 3-mile recovery run, and still no discomfort. Woo-hoo! I think I figured out why my calves tightened up the last few weeks -- I forgot to do my leg drains.
In Chirunning, we do leg drains at the end of stretching after the run. Just lie on your back with your feet up against a wall for 4 or 5 minutes. It lets all the pooled blood and such drain out of the legs. Then massage the calves and thighs like you're wringing out a rag and voila, legs feel great the next day. With ChiRunning my legs never hurt the next day but my calves can get pretty tight even with good form, so leg drains are a life-saver.
It's funny the CR focuses that will come to me during a run. I left the heart rate monitor at home and just decided to run 3 casual miles. The first mile today was OK although I could tell I was tired from yesterday (probably too much Diet Coke) but I was fine. The second mile I was feeling more tired than usual (of course I wasn't using walk breaks) but the third mile, I started thinking about my posture and my legs starting from the midpoint of my spine (T12/L1) and my stride opened right up and I felt so much better. Another time I focused more on trusting my lean and again my form just really opened up and breathing was easier not harder even though I was speeding up.
I have been so lethargic for so long that I'm thrilled to have run so well both days and have enough energy for a 16+ mile bike ride with Gene after lunch. Must be the great weather -- 61 degrees and sunny.
3 relaxed miles = 11:52
In Chirunning, we do leg drains at the end of stretching after the run. Just lie on your back with your feet up against a wall for 4 or 5 minutes. It lets all the pooled blood and such drain out of the legs. Then massage the calves and thighs like you're wringing out a rag and voila, legs feel great the next day. With ChiRunning my legs never hurt the next day but my calves can get pretty tight even with good form, so leg drains are a life-saver.
It's funny the CR focuses that will come to me during a run. I left the heart rate monitor at home and just decided to run 3 casual miles. The first mile today was OK although I could tell I was tired from yesterday (probably too much Diet Coke) but I was fine. The second mile I was feeling more tired than usual (of course I wasn't using walk breaks) but the third mile, I started thinking about my posture and my legs starting from the midpoint of my spine (T12/L1) and my stride opened right up and I felt so much better. Another time I focused more on trusting my lean and again my form just really opened up and breathing was easier not harder even though I was speeding up.
I have been so lethargic for so long that I'm thrilled to have run so well both days and have enough energy for a 16+ mile bike ride with Gene after lunch. Must be the great weather -- 61 degrees and sunny.
3 relaxed miles = 11:52
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Sometimes waiting is good
I didn't run Thursday or Friday this week. I just couldn't face 40s and 50s and rain one more time. I can hardly believe that 8 weeks ago, I ran in 15 degree weather. Back then 50 degrees and rain would have seemed spectacular. But the weather was supposed to break this weekend, and I was willing to wait.
Sometimes waiting is good.
What a gorgeous day today. I started with 90 minutes of yoga at 9 a.m. then had two pieces of toast with PB and a G2 ,and watched part of a movie before heading out into sunny skies and 50-something degrees around 12:30.
I wanted to run 6 miles today. I decided to experiment with slowing down a bit and running 11:30 miles plus 1-minute walk breaks after each mile. The idea was if I slowed down, my heart rate would slow down. This experiment failed pretty miserably. The alarm telling me to slow down kept yelling at me the entire run, but I just couldn't slow my body down enough. I managed to run about 11:20 miles but by the end of the third mile my max heart rate was at 175 and the average was like 166. According to my age, my MHR is 173 but today I reached 177 and have reached 183 before. My MHR may be even higher than that, and no, I don't have heart palpitations or feel like I'm going to die when I hit these numbers. Still 164 -- even with a 185 MHR -- is too high for a LSD run. Oh well.
The run itself was great. I even ended up doing 7 miles, although the last mile was just a cool down mile which is why it's slower than the rest. But interesting that while I slowed down my max heart rate was higher than any other mile. As much as I don't like walk breaks, I definitely feel stronger after several miles. Guess I'll stay with them for a while. I still want to experiment with 5 min run/1 min walk on a shorter run.
What's interesting to me is Lap 5 and 6 because even though I was getting tired, (after steading incline for a mile or so) I used a few ChiRunning check-ins -- checking my posture, keeping my feet landing just behind my center of gravity and focusing on maintaining my lean -- and look what happened: two of the best miles in the entire run. I do love CR.
I know this is all boring for anyone reading this but lately I really need to use this blog just to track what's going on with my heart rate more than trying to be entertaining in any way.
Lap 1: 11:19
Lap 2: 11:22
Lap 3: 11:11
Lap 4: 11:36
Lap 5: 11:25
Lap 6: 10:54
Lap 7: 11:44
Ave. HR/Max HR
Lap 1: 157/163
Lap 2: 160/171
Lap 3: 166/175
Lap 4: 167/174
Lap 5: 167/173
Lap 6: 166/173
Lap 7: 166/177
Sometimes waiting is good.
What a gorgeous day today. I started with 90 minutes of yoga at 9 a.m. then had two pieces of toast with PB and a G2 ,and watched part of a movie before heading out into sunny skies and 50-something degrees around 12:30.
I wanted to run 6 miles today. I decided to experiment with slowing down a bit and running 11:30 miles plus 1-minute walk breaks after each mile. The idea was if I slowed down, my heart rate would slow down. This experiment failed pretty miserably. The alarm telling me to slow down kept yelling at me the entire run, but I just couldn't slow my body down enough. I managed to run about 11:20 miles but by the end of the third mile my max heart rate was at 175 and the average was like 166. According to my age, my MHR is 173 but today I reached 177 and have reached 183 before. My MHR may be even higher than that, and no, I don't have heart palpitations or feel like I'm going to die when I hit these numbers. Still 164 -- even with a 185 MHR -- is too high for a LSD run. Oh well.
The run itself was great. I even ended up doing 7 miles, although the last mile was just a cool down mile which is why it's slower than the rest. But interesting that while I slowed down my max heart rate was higher than any other mile. As much as I don't like walk breaks, I definitely feel stronger after several miles. Guess I'll stay with them for a while. I still want to experiment with 5 min run/1 min walk on a shorter run.
What's interesting to me is Lap 5 and 6 because even though I was getting tired, (after steading incline for a mile or so) I used a few ChiRunning check-ins -- checking my posture, keeping my feet landing just behind my center of gravity and focusing on maintaining my lean -- and look what happened: two of the best miles in the entire run. I do love CR.
I know this is all boring for anyone reading this but lately I really need to use this blog just to track what's going on with my heart rate more than trying to be entertaining in any way.
Lap 1: 11:19
Lap 2: 11:22
Lap 3: 11:11
Lap 4: 11:36
Lap 5: 11:25
Lap 6: 10:54
Lap 7: 11:44
Ave. HR/Max HR
Lap 1: 157/163
Lap 2: 160/171
Lap 3: 166/175
Lap 4: 167/174
Lap 5: 167/173
Lap 6: 166/173
Lap 7: 166/177
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Paying for pain personal trainer style
I had my first workout with a personal trainer yesterday. I want to lose at least 10 pounds, firm up my arms and strengthen my core. She started with an upper body workout. I'm not overly sore this morning but I'm feeling a few muscles I haven't felt in a while. It's hard to imagine paying for this pain. Reminds me of golf where I'll plunk down $50 bucks for a round of golf and the "pleasure" of losing lots of golf balls and my patience.
I have found I must be the weakest woman in the world. She wants me to do 3 sets of each exercise, but after watching me struggle through 2 sets, she told me to do the best I can. The good thing is there no place to go but up from here.
Next week, we'll cover my lower body workout. I don't need big, strong legs for ChiRunning (our legs are for support only), which is good because ever since knee surgery, lunges and squats are a thing of the past. So I'm interested to see what she comes up with.
She wants me to workout four days a week in addition to my runs. At least it's only 30 minutes a day for the weights. But that means four days of weights, four runs and one yoga class a week. And that doesn't even count hitting the bike when the warmer temps arrive. How will I fit it all in?
Mile 1: 10:52
Mile 2 11:20 (1 min walk break)
Mile 3: 11:47 (1 min walk break)
Mile 4; 11:11 (run 5 mins/walk 1 min)
Ave HR/Max HR
Mile 1: 164/170
Mile 2: 167/174
Mile 3: 165/177
Mile 4: 169:177
I have found I must be the weakest woman in the world. She wants me to do 3 sets of each exercise, but after watching me struggle through 2 sets, she told me to do the best I can. The good thing is there no place to go but up from here.
Next week, we'll cover my lower body workout. I don't need big, strong legs for ChiRunning (our legs are for support only), which is good because ever since knee surgery, lunges and squats are a thing of the past. So I'm interested to see what she comes up with.
She wants me to workout four days a week in addition to my runs. At least it's only 30 minutes a day for the weights. But that means four days of weights, four runs and one yoga class a week. And that doesn't even count hitting the bike when the warmer temps arrive. How will I fit it all in?
Mile 1: 10:52
Mile 2 11:20 (1 min walk break)
Mile 3: 11:47 (1 min walk break)
Mile 4; 11:11 (run 5 mins/walk 1 min)
Ave HR/Max HR
Mile 1: 164/170
Mile 2: 167/174
Mile 3: 165/177
Mile 4: 169:177
Sunday, March 30, 2008
I may not race but my heart does
After yesterday's marathon sleep, I was hoping I'd be recovered enough from whatever bug I was fighting to go for a run today even though it was supposed to be dreary and about 50 degrees with some rain. I did feel good enough even if the weather was much colder (31 degree windchill).
The idea was to do a long, slow run but after being so wiped out Friday and Saturday, I wasn't sure how far I could go.
I felt really good the whole run. I could have done another few miles except for my calves. They were tight from the get-go -- a side effect of the bug I was fighting. I wanted to run 11:30 miles plus 1-minute walk break, but ended up running faster and felt good the whole way. Unfortunately, the heart rate wasn't any lower. What is the deal with that heart rate?
Laps 2 through 5 include 1 minute walk breaks, plus another 2 minutes that Garmin didn't record when I was stretching my calves.
Lap 1: 11:26
Lap 2: 11:34
Lap 3: 11:23
Lap 4: 11:37
Lap 5: 12:13
Lap 6: 11:53
Ave/Max heart rate
Lap 1: 157/165
Lap 2: 163
Lap 3: 164/171
Lap 4: 167/172
Lap 5: 167/171
Lap 6: 165/169
The idea was to do a long, slow run but after being so wiped out Friday and Saturday, I wasn't sure how far I could go.
I felt really good the whole run. I could have done another few miles except for my calves. They were tight from the get-go -- a side effect of the bug I was fighting. I wanted to run 11:30 miles plus 1-minute walk break, but ended up running faster and felt good the whole way. Unfortunately, the heart rate wasn't any lower. What is the deal with that heart rate?
Laps 2 through 5 include 1 minute walk breaks, plus another 2 minutes that Garmin didn't record when I was stretching my calves.
Lap 1: 11:26
Lap 2: 11:34
Lap 3: 11:23
Lap 4: 11:37
Lap 5: 12:13
Lap 6: 11:53
Ave/Max heart rate
Lap 1: 157/165
Lap 2: 163
Lap 3: 164/171
Lap 4: 167/172
Lap 5: 167/171
Lap 6: 165/169
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Marathon sleeping
I was so excited for a nice long, slow, easy run today. The sun was supposed to be shining ahd the temps might hit 50. That around here is a really good day these days. But the trouble started last night. My husband and I sat down to watch the NCAA Regional Semis (I'm a huge March Madness fan) and I was excited to root for Davidson (I love the underdog). We got home about halfway through the first half after having dinner with friends.
I felt pretty wiped out as I sat down to watch the game but I figured I just ate too much, But by 8 p.m. and halftime of the first game, I was beyond tired. I told my husband I was going to take a quick 20 minute nap just to feel a little better. Two hours later, I woke up. I had missed the rest of the Davidson game and was missing the beginning of the second game. I pulled myself out of bed and within 10 minutes, I realized I couldn't possibly stay awake. Shoot, I couldn't keep my eyes open.
I headed back to bed and slept until 7:30 this morning. I got up to read the paper and eat breakfast before 9 a.m. yoga. But by 8 a.m., I was back in bed -- until 2 p.m. That's almost 18 HOURS OF SLEEP. The few times I woke up during my hibernation, all I could think about was getting outside for my run. The sun was shining, the temp was close to 50 and I was missing it! But I just couldn't move.
Unlike most people, when I get sick, I rarely gets colds or fevers. My illness show up as fatigue -- like being-hit-by-a-bus fatigue. I knew I'd been tired but I never expected to sleep that much. It took until 7 p.m. tonight to even begin to feel normal.
I'm pretty disgusted I missed a beautiful day to run, especially when it's supposed to rain so much this week. Hopefully, I'll feel alive again tomorrow and can hit the pavement.
I felt pretty wiped out as I sat down to watch the game but I figured I just ate too much, But by 8 p.m. and halftime of the first game, I was beyond tired. I told my husband I was going to take a quick 20 minute nap just to feel a little better. Two hours later, I woke up. I had missed the rest of the Davidson game and was missing the beginning of the second game. I pulled myself out of bed and within 10 minutes, I realized I couldn't possibly stay awake. Shoot, I couldn't keep my eyes open.
I headed back to bed and slept until 7:30 this morning. I got up to read the paper and eat breakfast before 9 a.m. yoga. But by 8 a.m., I was back in bed -- until 2 p.m. That's almost 18 HOURS OF SLEEP. The few times I woke up during my hibernation, all I could think about was getting outside for my run. The sun was shining, the temp was close to 50 and I was missing it! But I just couldn't move.
Unlike most people, when I get sick, I rarely gets colds or fevers. My illness show up as fatigue -- like being-hit-by-a-bus fatigue. I knew I'd been tired but I never expected to sleep that much. It took until 7 p.m. tonight to even begin to feel normal.
I'm pretty disgusted I missed a beautiful day to run, especially when it's supposed to rain so much this week. Hopefully, I'll feel alive again tomorrow and can hit the pavement.
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