Love/hate reading running blogs

I love reading running blogs, but I’m not sure they are good for me. Having been both a high school and college athlete, I have certain expectations for myself. I generally pick up new activities fast, however, running has never been one of them.

I played one season of field hockey – as a fullback -- in junior high because it required the least running. I’d have played goalie if I could have. I would curse at the 1/3 mile warm-up we ran each day. The other fullback and I even took a shortcut every time the coaches weren’t looking.

In high school, I played volleyball, basketball and fast-pitch softball, sports that might require explosive spurts but no long sustained running. I’m old enough that conditioning was pretty much a joke when I was in school. In college, I played volleyball. Lots of conditioning but not much long distance running.

Over the years I ran off and on – more off than on once I hit about 30 – thanks to constant shin splints and back pain. Then a couple of years later, knee pain really stopped any chance of running – until I found ChiRunning. It gave me my running life back.

Now I’m running farther than I did in my 20s, have no pain and am thrilled. So what’s the problem you ask? Speed – or lack thereof. I’ve been back at this for 2.5 years and I’m not getting any faster. Now that wouldn’t be so bad if I was clocking an 8-minute or even 9- or 10-minute mile.

I don’t want to “race.” I just want to run with friends who all run at 10-min miles or less. And then I read these blogs and how everyone’s improving. Oh, yeah, I know, I know. We all have to work within our own limitations. And certainly I have a few.

Not only do I have injuries but apparently I have a little heart thing that sends out megawatts of adrenaline when I run, no matter how slowly. I don’t get heart palpitations or anything. But my heart rate goes to 100 percent of max or more in a few miles even with a 12-minute mile

I get inspired by these other speed demons, but it’s frustrating too. Maybe I should stop reading. Or maybe I should accept my limitations and be grateful I’m running again. There was a time when I didn't run because the doctor asked me not to because of back trouble. Back then, I’d have given anything just to run 3 miles three times a week. Now, I do that and more. But running is like a drug – I want more. I want a half marathon. I want a marathon.

Maybe all of this is a great lesson in humility, appreciation for what I do have, and learning to accept myself. And maybe I’m just having one hell of a pity party today.


Wow, I’m sitting here writing this little rant about poor pitiful me and I have totally forgotten something that really matters. My cousin is lying in a hospital bed praying he'll walk again after a fluke accident during our "dry hurricane" 9 days ago. I think I’ll shut up now and be grateful that I can walk or run, fast or slow, a lot or a little.

Hang in there Johnny. I believe. I believe you will walk again. I believe you will run that marathon someday.